Senate Passes Bill to Clean Up the Nation's Voting Systems

A lot of good that does us now.

I have added vaguely leftist Braves-basher (what do you expect of a Rupert Murdoch employee) Captain Scott to the permalinks (via Jason Rylander), even though his template makes my eyes water. Running out of room over there...

My Yahoo mailbox was getting pretty full, so I've added a new account for War Liberal, to get even more delicious Spam if nothing else. It is warliberal@yahoo.com, predictably enough.

Teacher to Fly Into Space in 2004, NASA Says (washingtonpost.com)

[STUNNED]

I'm sorry, anything to do with Challenger takes me aback a little. Barbara Morgan was Crista McAuliffe's backup for Challenger in '86. After that, publicity stunts were tabled for awhile, and when they came back were mostly devoted to politicians. Morgan is 50 now, oldish for an astronaut, but is apparently fully qualified.

Daimnation!

Ah, sweet, innocent Damian.

It's still strange, seeing "Palestinian Liberation Organization" named as the tenant. It's like seeing an entry for "Ku Klux Klan" in the phone book.

It'd be nice to live somewhere where the Klan was that distant. I won't say that the Klan is in the Tuscaloosa phone book. (Actually, let me check... No, they aren't.) But they aren't exactly obscure and distant, either. They're here, they've got tiny little brains, and I'm more or less used to them.

Palestinians spar with Jews over archaeological claims [Nov. 2000]

Ah, those were the days. When the Palestinians weren't blowing up Israelis but rather going around trying to say that there was never any Jewish presence on the Temple Mount.

Joey vs. Wayne in Slugfest II

I love this society sometimes. Joey Buttafuoco vs. John Wayne Bobbitt in "Celebrity [sic] Boxing II"? Beautiful.

James Caan to debut on Fox

Remember: No matter how big a star you are. Even if you're Sonny Corleone. If you're not careful, you could wind up a pathetic has-been on a pathetic half-hour sitcom on Fox. I mean, check out this premise:

HOLLYWOOD, California (Reuters) -- Veteran actor James Caan has signed on to make his TV series debut in a Fox untitled half-hour comedy pilot from one of the producers behind the ABC hit sitcom "Roseanne," Variety reports.

Caan will play a conservative stepdad who clashes with his stepson after the young man returns home from the Peace Corps.

Is that cutting edge or what? I mean, the 28th lame "All in the Family" ripoff? What happened, did Caan invest in Enron?

CNN.com - Cool Science: Tastier tomatoes all in the genes - April 11, 2002

Good for the scientists who think they've found a way to create better tasting, longer lasting tomatoes. Bad for the Luddites who will whine and complain like they ate genetically modified taco shells at the very notion of fiddling with nature.

All domesticated plants and animals are "genetically modified" by humans. But in the slow way, through selection and culling. Look at the difference between cherry tomatoes (which are pretty close to the wild version of the plant, but larger) and the big slicing tomatoes at the grocery store. Or between kale, cabbage, broccoli, cauliflower, and brussels sprouts -- which are all the same species.

CNN.com - White House condemns Jerusalem "homicide bombing" - April 12, 2002

Look who's willing to call this particular type of terror by an accurate name.

Not-so-great Moments In Headline Writing

The Birmingham News copywriters continue to think they're funny and clever, but they're not:

Brakes put on teenage drivers
Bill OK'd to ban some from driving after midnight

Apparently, they were letting it all hang down... Really, if parents are letting their kids drive between midnight and 6 AM, don't they have more problems than just avoiding accidents?

MSNBC, aka 'America's NewsChannel'? (washingtonpost.com)

Okaaaay... I'd think that "America's News Channel" would be something people actually watched, but that's their business.

The Miami Herald | 04/12/2002 | Sugar firms win on Glades cleanup

The Florida Supreme Court (remember them?) has determined that if you pollute someone else's property with the massive runoff from your federally-supported sugar plantations, you don't have to clean up after yourself. Even if the voters say you do!

It's not actually the Court's fault, apparently; the legislature hasn't come up with a mechanism to make the polluters pay. This is probably because Florida legislators are in the pockets of Big Sugar.

The whole sugar industry in this country is a boondoggle. The Federal Government has propped it up for decades in a way that makes the recent steel tariff decision look like free trading at its best. It's not even a big job supplier, not to American citizens, anyway. Sugar protectionism helps a few big landowners/sugar producers, mostly in Florida. It hurts everybody else in the country who buys sugar, and has been terrible for poor countries in the Caribbean whose economies would get a real boost from selling to the American market.

Oh, there's one more group it helps: Archer Daniels Midland. ADM doesn't produce sugar, but it does produce corn syrup, used as a sugar substitute in soft drinks. Trust me, whenever the government is up to anything nefarious, ADM is always involved somehow.

Nigerian scam goes online; 16 fall victim

Can I have their names, please? I figure anyone who doesn't recognize the Nigerian scam yet is a really easy mark... I didn't know that the Nigerian scam even had a pre-online history.

President of Venezuela Resigns Under Pressure From Military

It took longer than I thought; I'd guessed he'd be out in February. Chavez illustrates one of the problems with emerging democracies, one we've also seen in Pakistan. He was democratically elected, but proceeded to rule as a tyrant, and eventually the military had to remove him. Hopefully, the new government (headed by a civilian, at least in theory) will be able to restore order. And hopefully new elections will be called soon.

This is a blow to the Saudis and their pals. Venezuela is a big oil producer, and a key supplier to the US. A secure supply of oil from Venezuela blunts the "oil weapon"; if the Arabs shut down production it will hurt them far more than it hurts us.

Suicide Bomber Attacks Hours After Powell Meets With Sharon

"Peace Process," my ass... This was a female suicide bomber; I guess it's a sign of progress that we've reached the stage where that's no longer worthy of notice in the headline.

I can't believe I agree with Ari Fleischer:

"There are people who don't want peace," Mr. Fleischer said. "The president wants peace and will seek peace; that is why the secretary is in the region." But the statement made no reference to whether the secretary's meeting with Mr. Arafat would be delayed or perhaps go ahead as planned.

That is a very simple phrase there: "There are people who don't want peace." But it seems a very difficult concept for the European elite (or for that matter, the American elite, which doesn't get to run things) to get their heads around. In a way, that speaks well of them; they are so civilized that they really can't believe that people would actually prefer the horror of war. But there are people who prefer war, and they are the sort of people who convince people in their twenties to blow themselves up in the hopes of taking a few Israelis with them.

I finally figured it out. The Europeans are the Eloi. And for their sakes, I hope they're not around when the people from Hamas get hungry.

Library System Terrorizes Publishing Industry

I'd forgotten this cartoon until Mr. Kaus linked to it. It seems like a joke, but there's a serious parallel. Weepy former Democratic Rep. Pat Schroeder is -- or was a year ago -- a mouthpiece for the publishing industry. In that role, she basically declared public libraries as the industry's #1 enemy. This is not an exaggeration. "We," says Schroeder, "have a very serious issue with librarians."

Kaus brings the cartoon in in the context of the authors guild complaining about Amazon expanding its used book sales. I've never heard of authors getting angry at libraries. Not only are libraries a major market, most authors have spent a lot of time in them.

Scientist develops technology to make frog eyes, possibly human organs

This came out a few days ago, apparently; I don't know how I missed it unless the human-cloning story got in the way. If you could grow eyes -- and other organs -- for humans, it would be huge, far bigger than boring old cloning. And probably against the law Bush wants, too.

News From The Bizarro World

Massacres of unarmed Palestinians in Jenin; suicide operation kills 10 Israeli soldiers

The Arabic News continues its assault on objective reality and the English language.

Israel Invades Refugee Camp (washingtonpost.com)

[STUPID JOKE]Wyclef Jean -- you are going down![/STUPID JOKE]

"This is a full-fledged occupation of the West Bank," said Mustafa Barghouti, a Palestinian doctor and activist. "All the roads are occupied. All the passages are occupied. What we have is a new occupation. And we can say that the Palestinian Authority is completely dismantled because it is not in charge of anything."

So? Think of this as a learning experience. You've been claiming to be occupied for 35 years. Get a taste of the real thing -- and know that it's only a taste, and that if the Israelis weren't basically civilized they could smash you into little pieces.

Yahoo! News - Stapling Hemorrhoids Less Painful Than Removal

"But even more humiliating! And wait until you have to go through a metal detector!"

(Via the Fearless Leader of the Axis of Weevil.)

Roger Straus, International Man of Mystery - Farrar, Straus' creepy partnership with American intelligence. By Jack Shafer

Dear Jack:

We were fighting a war, you buffoon. That it (for the most part) wasn't a shooting war but a social, economic, and intellectual one doesn't make it less so. And I don't find it at all outrageous that an American publishing house helped the CIA. Nor would most Americans.

Good parents are the ultimate Web filters

Damn straight. I posted a few days ago about doggie litter; I felt that it was a symptom of people who like the idea of having dogs but didn't want to actually work at it by taking their dogs outside to do their business. Not that I am saying children are like dogs -- except that they have a similar ability to make a huge mess -- but this is basically cyber-child litter.

I've no objection to parents who put filters on their children's computers. I don't think they'll work, of course, and kids will find a way around the filters. But it ticks me off when they try to filter everyone's computers. I know these people; they're too busy to keep an eye on their children and too cheap to pay someone to do it for them, so they dump them on librarians.

Such filters fail to stop the ingenious pornmeisters but in the past have blocked Web sites belonging to the Yale Biology Department, Rep. Dick Armey, Beaver College in Pennsylvania and the San Francisco Chronicle and Examiner.

You have to admit, Dick Armey really is kind of obscene.

Oh, and this column links to Geeks With Guns. Guns aren't my thing, but I guess some people like them.

The New York Times on the Web

Great Moments In Headline Writing

Apr. 11, 2002: The AP sends these stories out within three minutes of each other:

Geena Davis Has Baby Girl 2:12 p.m. ET

Sarah McLachlan Has Baby Girl 2:09 p.m. ET

I mean guys, change it up a little. Like Sarah and her husband, who came up with "India Ann Sushil Sood".

International War Crimes Tribunal Approved (washingtonpost.com)

Good luck with that, guys. And if you lay one finger on a US serviceman, good luck in the next world.

I've added Travelling Shoes to the blogroll. The NIT section is filling up pretty rapidly. I think I'm going to start making up regionals; put all the Alabama blogs in the Weevil Region, the DC blogs in the Beltway Region, LA blogs in the Babylon Region, and so forth.

Star Wars Fans in Line for 'Episode II'

What is with these people? Not only is it just a movie, it's just a movie featuring Jar-Jar Binks. The last one sucked, and there's no evidence this one won't suck too. Star Wars fans continue to make us Trekkies (I won't use "Trekker", which sounds like a disease) look normal and well-adjusted. Well, except for those who think they're Klingons.

Jewish Soccer Team Attacked in France

More anti-Semitic Frenchmen!

``I am convinced that the young people of France, of whatever opinion and of all origins, will take action to defend the spirit of tolerance and dialogue,'' [French Sports Minister Marie-George] Buffet said.

Gosh, Mary, I don't know. Dialogue with anti-Semites hasn't exactly been productive, has it? If you've read this semi-regularly, you might have noticed that "dialogue" is one of those words that sets me off. I don't see the point of talking to tyrants, racists, and fools; you can't convince these people of anything by talking.

The Euros, the French of course paramount among them, have elevated diplomacy to an end on itself; if it doesn't accomplish anything they don't really care, at least we're talking! It seems appropriate to me that soccer was involved here, because soccer is the appopriate sport of people who are fundamentally opposed to actually doing something about the problem.

CNN.com - Researchers: Pill may someday replace exercise - April 11, 2002

YES! I like the idea of being in shape, but exercise is boring. I'm not a gerbil; I don't mind walking or running or climbing stairs, but I like to actually have a goal.

"This could lead to drugs that will let people get the health benefits of regular exercise, even if they cannot exercise," said Williams. This could help patients with heart or lung disease, or lower the risk of Type II diabetes, for instance.

Or those of us who are just lazy.

CNN.com - Probe clears U.S. in bombing of U.N. food convoy - April 11, 2002

Well, we did hit it; the probe showed that it wasn't our fault, that the convoy was traveling without the proper markings and at the wrong time. Not that this will convince the sort of people who blame the US for everything that we weren't in the wrong. Of course, that sort of person thinks that the US should just grin and bear it when somebody flies an airplane into a building, so we should pretty much ignore them anyway.

Warblogger Watch

Come on, give me a link, please! What do I have to do?

Yahoo! News - Jewish school bus attacked with stones in Paris

Stoning. Children! Dear God.

Fuck France. We should have let the Germans keep it. Hell, we ought to bring them back in.

Andersen Is Said to Be Near Deal on Enron Charges

Therefore making it more likely some Enron executives might actually go to jail for their massive fraud. The whole Andersen case has been, I believe, an attempt to get what's seen as the bigger fish, Enron. I disagree with that; I think even though Enron is the bigger company Andersen is the bigger problem. Andersen could bring about dozens of Enrons.

N. Korea Unready for U.S. Talks

You know, put on makeup, get their nails done, etc.

Really:

At the moment, North Korea believes that proper ``environment has not yet been created,'' the spokesman said, adding that Pyongyang would be willing to resume talks if Washington let North Korea ``have the dialogue on an equal footing.'' The report did not elaborate. KCNA is monitored in Seoul.

BAWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Equal footing?

Defiant Sharon Losing Support in White House (washingtonpost.com)

According to "Administration Sources", which could be anybody, but odds are is someone in Powell's office.

Strange bedfellows alert:

Support is building for draft legislation proposed by Sens. Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif.) and Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) that would designate the Palestine Liberation Organization as a terrorist group, close down its Washington office and deny visas to its top officials. The State Department successfully lobbied against a similar measure last fall.

When Feinstein and McConnell agree on something, it's truly bipartisan. And check out why it didn't pass in the fall. State still believes in diplomacy. Of course, it kind of has to, doesn't it?

CNN.com - Ed McMahon sues over toxic mold in L.A. home - April 10, 2002

He's suing his insurance company for $20 million for killing his dog. Now, I love dogs, but $20 million?

ajc.com | Business | SunTrust to accept Mexican documents

This is an interesting move. Illegal immigrants can't buy cars or get drivers' licenses in Georgia, and without a license you usually can't open an account. The Mexican -- legal and illegal -- population in the non-Florida, non-Texas South is growing by leaps and bounds. Since they're here already, and we don't want them to go away no matter what we say -- we should at least try to keep them part of the above-ground economy.

Check out the online poll; non-scientific, sure, but those are pretty scary numbers.

CNN.com - FDA: Nicotine lollipops illegal - April 10, 2002

Said an FDA spokesman: "Are you kidding? Nicotine lollipops? It wasn't exactly a difficult decision." Except not, I just made that up.

Weird note: this article includes the phrase "FDA attorney David Horowitz".

CNN.com - Amid scandal: Catholic schools steady - April 10, 2002

Great Moments in Link Writing: CNN links to this story with the unfortunate sentence "Catholic schools firm amid scandal". As a rule, avoid "firm" when talking about sex scandals; also "rigid" and "hard".

Hey, what about teaching your students which commandments are which, huh?

--McCutcheon Thomason, John Carroll Catholic High School, Class of '89.

Bush Rallies Opponents of Cloning

Today, Senator Bill Frist, the Tennessee Republican who is also a heart surgeon, told his fellow senators that he, like Mr. Bush, opposes cloning because the research involves the creation, and destruction, of human embryos. Mr. Frist's statement was not a surprise, but it is important because he is the Senate's only doctor and lawmakers look to him for advice on medical matters.

Except he wasn't speaking as a doctor, you ninnies. He was making a moral judgment not a medical one. Human embryos are created and destroyed all the time, in in-vitro fertilization and in the normal course of reproduction. And let's not even get into abortion.

I just realized that I may know, or used to know, somebody who might have direct knowledge of the alleged cloned human. My former physician now works for the UAE, in Abu Dhabi I do believe.

wrongwaygoback : wetlog : keep the bastards honest

I generally do not take part in warblog self-analysis, stuff like the Alex Beam pile-on of a few days ago; it all seems so self-indulgent and I'm self-indulgent enough already. Also, none of the articles ever mention me, so what do I care?

But here's an attack on warblogs that does mention me. And links to my tip-jar. I wish I made a dollar a day.

Anti-terrorism center may grow
U.S. may double training at Anniston, says Ridge

I think we all breathe a sigh of relief, knowing that the Center for Domestic Preparedness is on the job. The CDP is located in Anniston. You know, where they eat poison dirt?

Suicide Bombing Kills Niece of Israeli U.N. Envoy

This of course is the man who has to spend his days listening to the anti-Semitic drivel that passes for diplomacy in the UN. He's now going back to Israel to bury his niece, 18-year-old Noa Schlomo, the oppressor who forced a poor Palestinian to blow himself up in a bus she happened to be on.

House Democrats Shut Out of Security Briefing (washingtonpost.com)

The Croix de Grits winner is playing partisan politics with security briefings, inviting only Republicans to one this morning. Of course, Republicans think all Democrats are traitors anyway.

Man Indicted in Slaying of Female Hikers in Va. (washingtonpost.com)

This crime is five years old, though I get the impression they always thought Darrell David Rice did it; he now has been charged with four counts of murder, I suppose first- and second-degree in each case. He's charged with a hate crime as well; he allegedly chose his victims because of their sexual orientation. I've never felt comfortable with hate-crimes legislation personally. I think maybe it should be part of the sentencing, but to me it comes too close to punishing thought.

Airport Authority OKs war-damage insurance

That's the Mobile airport. This is what it covers:

War, invasion, acts of foreign enemies, civil war and rebellion.

Hostile detonation of any nuclear weapon.

Strikes, riots, civil commotions.

Hijacking or any unlawful seizure.

That second item is great, what? Can't you see the insurance agent? "I'm sorry, Bob, but your coverage clearly states that only the hostile detonation of a nuclear weapon will be covered, and we've determined that this detonation was only in fun. I'm sorry; good luck digging out the corpses."

Korbut avoids shoplifting trial, takes a class on values

Considering she stole $19 worth of merchandise, and the fee for the course was $333, I think she's paid her debt to society.

Oils in Fish Cut Risk of Sudden Death

No, not overtime.

Honestly, is a life full of oily fish really worth living?

A Surge in Asbestos Suits, Many by Healthy Plaintiffs

Um... Again, I didn't make it through law school, but my understanding was that you actually had to have suffered harm to sue someone.

Bush Presses for Human Cloning Ban

He's asking the Senate to pass a law. (He doesn't have to ask the House, he controls it with his will.) Remember the Republican Party Motto: "Federalists, except if it offends our sensibilities."

Attack Follows Ambush That Killed 13 Israeli Troops

The wisdom of the blogosphere last week was that the West Bank campaign was successful in that it had stopped the wave of homicide bombings that had provoked it. It did, but only for a week; this is the second day in a row with a major attack.

I'm not saying that the campaign is a failure. It's a long road.

Civil Rights Figure Given Probation in Tax Case (washingtonpost.com)

Hey, a Clinton fundraising connection! Ernest Green got money from Charlie Trie, and didn't report it to the IRS. Just one for the anti-Clinton paranoid contingent to remember.

Are You Ready for 'Survivor: The Hamptons'?

You think this is a joke, but it's not. Well, it's a joke, but it's a real joke. ABC -- the network nobody watches -- is airing a "reality miniseries" in June about the people who go to the Hamptons. If anything is going to set off the revolution, I figure this is it.

Scrubs star John C. McGinley juggles roles as doctor and dad

I don't know if this is a Great Moment In Headline Writing or not. McGinley is a father. But as the commercial used to have it, he's not a doctor, but he plays one on TV. These "roles" are of different orders.

"Scrubs" is a good show, but it's opposite a great show, "24", so I rarely get to see it.

Atlanta Journal-Constitution: ajc.com: Papers: Priest talked about man-boy love

You can't make this sort of stuff up. One of the priests from the current scandal not only spoke approvingly of "man-boy love", he actually was at the meeting where NAMBLA was organized.

Cardinal Likens Abortion to Terrorism

Of course he did.

I went to a Catholic high school, so I'm used to the hyperbole. For example, I was told that using condoms was a violation of the Sixth Commandment. That's "Thou Shalt Not Kill", y'all. Because every sperm is sacred. (And I wound up having to take Theology in summer school three times, largely because I wouldn't shut up.) And abortionists are terrorists, and so are mercy killers and performers of genetic experimentation, and probably anybody who prints stories about priests raping little boys.

Oops: Charles Kuffner has pointed out to me that I was working off the Protestant list of Commandments, and that it's the Fifth Commandment in the Catholic Bible. I am horribly guilty on this account, in that my Catholic Bible fell apart years ago and what I had at hand was a King James Version.

Powell Says He Intends to Meet With Arafat (washingtonpost.com)

What the heck are we doing? What this looks like is bowing to Arab pressure, which is something we should never do. They don't like us, we should at least make them respect our strength. Arafat hasn't changed at all from the time when we said we weren't going to talk to anyone who didn't want a real stop to the killings and wouldn't talk to him.

13 Israeli Soldiers Killed in West Bank (washingtonpost.com)

So much for the theory that the crackdown was keeping the Palestinians from attacking. This was another homicide bomber; I have no idea how he could have gotten that close to soldiers.

ANCHOR: Hi, welcome to Birmingham's Fox 6 News. I'm Scot Reynolds. Our top stories tonight: The U.S. has declared war on Iraq, Iran, Saudi Arabia, and Belgium; Yasser Arafat has killed himself and French President Jacques Chirac in a hara-kiri suicide-bomb love pact; and House Majority Whip Tom DeLay has announced that he is getting a sex-change operation and wishes to be known as "Princess Petunia". But first:

GRAVELLY VOICED-VOICEOVER GUY:
STORMWATCH 2002:
It's Raining!

SCOT: I now turn it over to Bob in the Fox 6 Weather Command Center. Bob?

CHIEF WEATHER GUY: Scot, a line of storms is crossing over from Mississippi even as we speak, raining blood, death, devastation, and horror everywhere in its wake. Hundreds are without power and several turkeys drowned to death looking up at the sky with their beaks open. For more details, let's go to Steve, who has the Doppler 2002 Color Weather Watcher Radar. Steve?

BALD WEATHER GUY: Thank you, Bob. As you can see here, there's blue, green and some yellow here, in Greene County. And behind it, some orange. It's possible -- I can't say for sure -- that some of that orange could turn into red, or even pink.

SCOT: Pink?!? Oh my God, we're all going to die!

BWG: No, Scot, that's okay. As long as there's no fuschia, only people in trailer parks will be killed.

CWG: Fuschia?!? Where?!?

SCROLL: Those of you wishing to see the last episode of "The X-Files", the show has been postponed so we can bring you exclusive coverage of STORMWATCH 2002. You can tune in Monday Morning at 3 AM to see the show.

SCOT: We now have Art Frampton, who is standing outside the station. Art?

TOKEN BLACK REPORTER: Scot, as you can see here, it is quite windy. This indicates that rain is on its way. Or not, how the hell would I know? It's still quite windy. If you weigh less than thirty pounds, you should probably stay indoors, or carry weights with you wherever you go.

CWG: We now have Joe in the newsroom, who is looking at the satellite maps. Joe?

WEEKEND WEATHER GUY: Bob, the satellite map here shows a lot of clouds in the same damn line from the Great Lakes to Louisiana that every other satellite map seems to show. If it's actually moving, it will be here soon.

CWG: Thank you. And I'd just like to give a big hello to the kids in Mrs. Rivers' 4th-grade class at Central Elementary School, who got me this nice cake. I talked to them about the weather today. Steve?

BWG: Bob, I'm looking at the radar and I see a small indentation that indicates that conditions are favorable for a tornado.

SCOT: Oh no, we're doomed!!!

BWG: Oh, wait, the radar just recycled. It's gone now.

MAC: I'm going to Blockbuster.

ajc.com | News | Sextuplets

Each baby weighed between 2 pounds, 10 ounces and 3 pounds, 11 ounces, and they all squealed when they were born.

You know. Like piglets. Which are also born in litters. These people with their insane multiple births -- five, six, seven kids, all of them tiny and premature and likely to suffer various problems through their lives -- freak me out.

All-Alabama Summarize Blogging Competition

I ran MS Word's auto-summarize feature on this blog, and this is what I got:

Mac Thomason 2:41 PM
Email

Mac Thomason 2:39 PM
Email

Mac Thomason 2:32 PM
Email

Mac Thomason 2:06 PM
Email

Actually, there was a lot more, but it was all the same. I think this says a whole lot about why we do this.

So far, music deal is barely audible

Shocking news... Clear Channel is dishonest and incompetent! And dogs and cats don't like each other!

Afghan Defense Minister Survives Assassination Attempt

I have a question... How do you round up 550 of the usual suspects and manage to miss the guys who in only a couple of days will try to blow up the defense minister?

Times Wins Seven Pulitzer Prize Awards

"Kiss our ass, Washington!"

BBC News | ASIA-PACIFIC | Aborigine demands right to spear officer

To death. I figure this will cause the heads of Australian lefties to explode. After all, it's the death penalty! But it's Aborigine law! Clearly, this is America's fault! In some way I can't figure out! I'm hoping Tim Blair has something to say about this.

This and the two prior articles come courtesy of Barry Karr of CSICOP's email newsletter; an internet version is available here.

BBC News | UK | Paranoia paradise

Why do conspiracy theories have such a grasp on the imagination? I don't know -- my best guess is that they're somehow a comfort. "I'm not really a loser! The aliens are keeping me down!" What I really want to know is who comes up with this stuff. Here's one I'd never heard before that would strain the imagination of anyone:

There are those, for example, who believe that the Titanic was not sunk but captured by Albanian pirates (why Albanians?), its cargo of gold bullion stolen, its crew and passengers sold to white slave traders and a "fake" wreck created to cover up for this near-perfect super crime.

Thereby clearing the way for James Cameron's "Titanic 2: White Slave Boogaloo".

[E]x-BBC presenter and Coventry City goalkeeper David Icke preaches that the world is being secretly run by super-intelligent lizards from another planet.

Damn, Zorkon! They're on to us! To the escape teleporter!

Of course, there's a serious side to all this; conspiracy theorizing is a staple of totalitarian regimes. This article touches on the Nazi belief in the global Jewish conspiracy, and the Soviet use of conspiracy theory in the liquidation of the Kulaks. There are so many others that could have been added... In the present, Nazi-style Anti-Semitism is alive and well in the Middle East.

"Science Fiction" by Chris Mooney
After spending half a billion taxpayer dollars, alternative medicine gurus still can't prove their methods work--how convenient.

For my money, the funneling of taxpayer dollars to "alternative medicine" quacks is an unconstitutional establishment of religion. There's no actual science involved here -- science, unlike alternative medicine, works -- and a whole lot of superstition. You might as well give government grants to Ernest Angley; faith healing works just about as well, and at least provides entertainment.

ESPN.com: MLB - Baker's Dozen: The week in preview

Jim Baker points out, among other things, that nobody looks good in a mugshot. Tawny Kitaen, for example.

CNN.com - Israel facing possible EU sanctions - April 7, 2002

Assholes.

UAB ethicist's book is `Designer Food'

(Full disclosure: I took Dr. Gregory Pence's ethics class at the University of Alabama at Birmingham. It was he who labeled me the leader of the "DeSade Group" because we would allow just about any sort of animal testing. I liked him.)

Anyway, avoid organic food:

Organic food, commonly thought to be healthier and safer than food grown with pesticides and commercial fertilizers, is often cultivated with manure laden with E. coli, a bacteria that causes serious food poisoning.

All together now: YUCK!

I think manure is probably by definition loaded with E. coli; the question would be if it's a dangerous strain. But I don't eat organic food anyway, 'cause I'm cheap.

Environmentalist seeks to give Black Warrior a `voice'

AAAAIIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's a talking river! Run for your lives!

Administration Underscores Mideast Hurdles (washingtonpost.com)

Basically, "We know we're not going to find a negotiated solution, and we don't even know that we want a negotiated solution. We're just sending Colin to get the Arabs and Euros off our backs. Now, please go away, we have an invasion of Iraq to plan."

One Alternative to Bloated, Pricey Microsoft Office (washingtonpost.com)

Well, you could go to a used software store. They had it for $89 when I was shopping Friday. Or you can get this free thing, which apparently doesn't actually work. But it's free!

CNN.com - Crusaders seek return of dark skies - March 29, 2002

Personally, this sounds really silly to me. But Clear Channel is against it, so there must be something to it.

CNN.com - Service providers as speech police? - April 7, 2002

Free-speech advocates worry that the Digital Millennium Copyright Act effectively gives powerful copyright holders the ability to push parodies, criticisms and unpopular viewpoints to the fringes or off the Internet completely.

It has always been thus. While fair use has always been theoretically a shelter, in reality deep-pocketed businesses and individuals have always been able to push the little guy around. Hey, that's the way of the world. But gutting fair use will make things worse; now the big guy will have the law on his side as well as the lawyers.

CNN.com - Survey: Many students say cheating's OK - April 5, 2002

Okay... From a strict cost/benefit angle, why not cheat? You probably won't get caught, and it can help immensely. Of course, the idea is to learn... but most of what you learn in high school or college is irrelevant to your future life. And everyone knows it. There's a lot of busywork, too, probably more in high school than in college; why spend days working on a report that was only assigned because the teacher felt he needed to assign something?

I'm not advocating cheating, exactly. I'm just saying that acting shocked -- shocked! -- by it is silly. I think it's immoral, but it's also valuable to these students.

CNN.com - Study: Most Americans don't exercise regularly - April 7, 2002

In other news, fire is hot.

A Lot of Slack in the Apron Strings (washingtonpost.com)

More on the 30-year-old guy whose parents have been ordered to support him. I have to admit: if I lived in Italy, I even now would be living in my father's basement. But thankfully, I don't.

Blogrolling update: Dr. Weevil has a new address, and I've added several new names to the NIT area. Also, Newsrack hasn't been updated since March 19; how long do you think I should give him before demotion?

Book Fungus Can Get You High

This would explain a lot about my work environment.

Cat Attack Now Described As 'Hate Crime'

Those darned cats and their devotion to extremism!

This jackass' dog was attacked by a library cat; he (the jackass) says he has panic attacks stemming from the incident. He's suing the city for $1.5 million. And he's representing himself.

ajc.com | Opinion | Zionists adopt tactics they claim to abhor

Um... Adam Shapiro's family has been treated badly. But they are not victims of terror.

Canada calling
A country of bargains and beauty

The AJC has a whole "Canada section" in travel today... Here's another bit, about how the weak Canadian dollar means cheap goods for American tourists!

Canada calling

"Uh, hey, this is Canada. Next door? Could you turn the music down, please?"

Warnings On Drilling Reversed (washingtonpost.com)

Don't like a study? Tell them to go back and get the "right" results this time!

Police Say 3 Arab Youths Bombed French Synagogue

And the Hitlers keep on coming. I have to add my voice to the chorus: If you're opposed to Zionism, why are you torching synagogues of Jews who don't live in Israel? Doesn't that defeat the purpose? On the other hand, if you just hate Jews, it makes a lot of sense.

Q & A with Gen. Franks
'(T)he commitment of the American people ... is deeper
than I think most of us really appreciate.'

Glad to see that someone knows that.

Rat's Nest

John Braue takes issue with my comments about anti-Israeli or anti-American protestors, saying that they are stupid or evil -- or both. He has a point; I dashed that off in a hurry and I didn't clarify the way I normally would.

I would say that most of these people are not actually stupid or evil, but they are acting that way. They are acting the way that people do when they are grieving; irrationally. And while they aren't actually stupid, they are ignorant, which looks like stupid. But while stupid lasts forever, ignorance can be cured. Unfortunately, we haven't done the best job of curing ignorance about the Middle East. I expect a lot of people don't know, or don't understand, that Yasser Arafat rejected a peace plan that would have given him everything except right-of-return. People who really should know better write of the Palestinians only wanting their own country, when they could have had that if they'd been willing to compromise at all.

Ignorant and stupid people, by themselves, don't do much harm. (Well, as long as you keep them away from nuclear power plants and the like.) But they often fall prey to evil people, from the micro level of a con man gypping them out of their life savings, to the macro level of a Hitler. Or those in the Middle East today, who would like to finish what Hitler started to keep people from noticing their own failings.

Powell Says Sharon Has Heard Bush (washingtonpost.com)

"The president doesn't give orders to a sovereign prime minister of another country," Powell said.

I wish more people understood that. I mean, we can pressure Israel but if they want to go their own way they can -- for a little while, at least. As it is, we're not that upset with the Israelis anyway; we realize that they're in a tough spot and that they didn't provoke this.

Iran Calls For Oil Boycott

This is called "asking for it". Really, I want Iran to try to pull this off, really I do.

This is not your father's OPEC; the phrase "OPEC Secretary General Ali Rodriguez" gives that away. And the time when Arab countries had that sort of power is long over.

Pyongyang agrees to dialogue with US, family reunions

"Dialogue" again!

US: Now, I'm not a soft touch like South Korea. You aren't going to get anywhere threatening me.

NK: No, no, I wouldn't threaten you. But you're busy, you have this Iraq thing, I don't want to stand in your way.

US: You're a member of the Axis of Evil too.

NK: Yeah, but come on, you just did that because you didn't want to come off as bigoted against Muslims.

US: Well, yes. But still, you've been bad.

NK: But I've changed, really I have!

SK: Yes, it's true, I'm a witness!

Nuclear Report Blames Electrician

Ah, Browns Ferry, pride of Athens, Alabama. If any American nuclear plant were to go Chernobyl, I figure it would be Browns Ferry, which has never worked right. I swear, most of my life it's been "Browns Ferry to close", "Browns Ferry to re-open", "Browns Ferry to half-close". In this case, an electrician screwed up and four workers were burned.

I have no particular problem with nuclear power, but I'd prefer nuclear plants to be run by competent people. If Homer Simpson really did work at a nuclear power plant, I swear it would be Browns Ferry.