Key West Is Tiring of Chickens in Road

I mean, if they were just crossing, it would be one thing.

Pentagon Plans New Command for U.S. (washingtonpost.com)

This whole thing makes me really uncomfortable. Some people may not mind it, but the USA has traditionally used civilian authorities for security. Obviously, that hasn't been perfect, but we've done pretty well by it. Nothing against the armed forces, who do a great, great job. But there are fundamental differences between the use of civilian government employees and the use of uniformed personnel. Yes, a lot of it's symbolic, but I don't want to live in a country where soldiers on duty are a common sight anywhere but on and near military bases.

Poll Finds Enron's Taint Clings More to G.O.P. Than Democrats

I'm kind of enjoying this. I don't believe that the GOP is really much dirtier on this than my guys. But I just came off eight years of smear attempts on a Democratic President that in the end amounted to a finding that he got blow jobs from an intern, and I don't really mind if the Republicans get a little unearned mud. It's their turn.

Google Search: "war liberal"

Hey look, I finally got Google to notice me. Yes, I Google myself. There's nothing to be ashamed of.

muslimpundit.com

Where were you?

Salon.com News | Canadian is fifth suspected Al-Qaida

You can never trust Canadians.

OK, we've had an American, an Australian, a Canadian, a few Brits... Where's the Kiwi Taliban? Come on, New Zealand, hold up your end!

Lawmakers OK bill on boat toilet checks

If someone told you that the Alabama State Legislature was spending its time writing laws to authorize the inspection of nautical toilets, you would have one of two reactions:

1) "You have got to be kidding."

2) "They have toilets in Alabama?"

Bobby Cox in a Box

I had an off day today. I spent most of it writing this, one of the longest baseball pieces I've done.

Amazon.com: buying info: Imperial Caddy : The Rise of Dan Quayle in America and the Decline and Fall of Practically Everything Else by Joe Queenan

I picked this up recently, a book (out of print) by my favorite conservative humorist. (Apologies to PJ O'Rourke and Antonin Scalia.) It's about Dan Quayle, so obviously it's kind of dated. These days, nobody would ever nominate a callow, intellectually questionable rich boy for the Vice Presidency. Today they have to run for President themselves. (Joking!) Anyway, there's a quote in there that reminded me of... oh, I don't know. Something important.

Immediately after monstrous tragedies occur on this planet, there is a very brief period during which everyone tells the truth when discussing them. For the first twenty-four hours after Pearl Harbor is bombed or Rome is sacked, nobody comes out and says, "It's about time," or "So what?" It takes at least twenty-four hours before even the most jaded revisionist can bring himself to proclaim that the sinking of the Titanic is a blessing in diguise because it will make navigators more attentive to icebergs, or that a massive earthquake in San Francisco sends a reassuring message to Americans because only a handful of people died, whereas if it had happened in Armenia, the casualties would have run into the millions -- proving that the emergency warning system works! In the wake of a total catastrophe, even the most astute spin doctors find themselves suddenly rendered speechless.

Lindh Appears in Court to Answer Charges (washingtonpost.com)

"We are grateful that he is in good physical condition," Frank Lindh said outside the courthouse. "John loves America. We love America. He did not take up arms against America. John is innocent of these charges."

"John loves America". Right. Like the guy who loves his girlfriend so much that he kills her.

Meanwhile, his mouthpiece is making Court TV promos:

Brosnahan promised that the legal proceedings would be interesting. "Don't miss this trial," he said.

MATTHEW YGLESIAS

Re: Iran

I say, hold your horses and focus on al-Qaida outliers in Somalia, etc. Then bring some pressure on less deadly, but still dangerous, Sunni fundamentalists (Saudi Arabia, et al), and then maybe Iraq. We should still be trying to ally with the Ayatollahs. The enemy of my enemy...

Well, yes and no. Ally with Iran, yes, if possible. But not with the Ayatollahs, who are what they've always been. Iran (with its long history in opposition to Russia and Iraq) is a natural US ally, but only if the secular government takes control.

Right now, though, the Ayatollahs are interfering in Afghanistan, and that cannot be allowed. We're in the process of cleaning the place up (and doing a pretty good job of it, too) and we don't need anyone adding any more mess. A free and independent Afghanistan can't be the subject of tug-of-war between Pakistan, Iran, and Russia (and its client states) as it's been. We need a strong "Hands-off Afghanistan" policy.

I agreed with Andrew Sullivan? Oh dear. Damian Penny also: "If Iran is trying to undermine the new government, maybe Teheran should be America's next target." I think we can avoid actually attacking Iran, but they have to stay out of it.

Glenn Kinen

I'd like to welcome him to the fold. I was recruited to Harvard, really I was. Well, that was when all they saw was my PSAT scores. Then they saw my GPA and they backed off really quickly.

IHT: ENEMIES WITHIN The Culture of Conspiracy in Modern America

I don't understand the fascination of conspiracy theory, but then I've never felt myself part of a disempowered group. Well, not until Bush v. Gore, anyway.

Joking, joking. But that seems to be the kind of person who goes for conspiracism, the person who feels that the world is holding him down. It can't be anything wrong with him or his group, and it can't be that it's just something that happens -- he has to be the victim of forces beyond his control, and what's more those forces have to be directed by some shadowy group.

I don't know enough about the famous "Arab Street" to say, but I expect that the noted conspiracism in Arab countries (typified by their absolute faith in "The Protocols of the Elders of Zion") probably has a lot of the same roots as American conspiracism. Only when almost everybody is having a bad life, almost everyone is a conspiracist.

Alabama takes 'giant steps' in dental care, say experts

We're up to 16 teeth per resident!

Rhetoric Fails to Budge Policy on Iraq (washingtonpost.com)

Despite fierce rhetoric from senior Bush officials against Saddam Hussein, the administration's policy toward Iraq remains largely frozen where it was left by President Bill Clinton.

But... but the Clinton era was a foreign policy nightmare! The Administration told me so! If Clinton had a policy, it must have been wrong! Why haven't they fixed it?

More Subsidy Money Going to Fewer Farms (washingtonpost.com)

You know what's going to happen if they try to fix it again. They'll just make things worse. We should all just send a check to Archer Daniels Midland every year, it would make everything a lot simpler. As long as the American government is biased towards farm states -- that is, as long as there's a Senate and an Electoral College -- farmers are going to be on the dole, even if Bob is retired.

Enron Chief Quits as Hearings Open (washingtonpost.com)

Oh, how awful for Ken. He'll have to survive only on the revenue from the massive stock sales he made while encouraging other employees to buy Enron.

Concern Grows Over Iran's Influence in Afghanistan (washingtonpost.com)

Hey, let's take them down too! We still owe them, and I don't think anyone will miss the current Iranian government.

Seriously, we can't fight everyone. Well, we could, but it would be a big hassle and we'd probably have to raise taxes. I think we can get away with just slapping the Iranians down and waiting for the ongoing liberalization there to finish off the mullahs.

Wage Gap Widens (washingtonpost.com)

The story insinuates that women's salaries shrunk, but that's probably not true. Considering the wage growth in top jobs overall, it's better to say that women's salaries grew, just not as fast as men's.

Dingell and Maloney said the study brings up many questions that may be addressed by regulations or legislation in the future, including an examination of maternity leave policies and a fresh look at the Equal Rights Amendment.

Oh dear... I like the ERA, but there's no chance of getting it passed. Even if you could get it through a (Republican) congress again, the states still won't ratify it. It's a dead issue. You're better off working to modify current laws.

Salon.com News | Black QBs -- again

Allan Barra is the only reason to read Salon these days.

Satellite Start-Up for Apple Co-Founder

Hi, Woz!

Treatment of Taliban Raises Concerns, Europeans Say

"A lot of the European reaction to Guantánamo is not because people care about the feelings of the prisoners there," said Charles Grant, director of the Center for European Reform, based in London. "It's touched a neuralgic point, which is the European concern that America doesn't believe in international law, doesn't believe in submitting itself to rules, organizations or norms that limit its freedom of action...

Oh, is that it? Let me clear things up.

You're right, we don't. We tried that, it doesn't work. Sorry. International Law is just fine for you guys, but it doesn't serve our interests, so we're going to ignore it.

In the case of the Guantánamo prisoners, they're being treated more or less like maximum-security prisoners in the US. If you think they have it rough, there's a prison in Mississippi I'd like you to see. They'll get a fair trial, a fairer one I'll bet than a lot of people here and in Europe. It'll be a military trial, and that's unfortunate, but it's also the only way we can do it.

AOL Files Antitrust Suit Against Microsoft (washingtonpost.com)

Haven't we already been through this?

High Court to Hear Key Census Case (washingtonpost.com)

Utah is claiming that a method used by the Census Bureau is "sampling", illegal under Federal law, and North Carolina (which gained a seat at Utah's expense) denies it. The Feds are with NC, but I figure Utah wins. NC is a half-and-half state -- well, leaning Republican but trending Democrat -- while Utah is largely Republican. Leaving aside the House, the Democrats have some chance of winning NC in a near-future Presidential election but no chance at all of winning Utah. And anything that holds the population count down is probably good for the GOP. Can you tell how cynical I've gotten about SCOTUS since Bush v. Gore?

It appears that there was some poor copyreading by the WP here; the story ends with a comma, meaning (most likely) that somebody cut the story off in the middle of a sentence. That happens sometimes.

Russia shuts last nationwide independent TV station

Somewhere, John Ashcroft is taking notes.

BTW, one man quoted in the story is from the "Union of Right-wing Forces" party. Wow. Why didn't Buchanan think of that name?

The Ex-Lawyers Club
Many attorneys have left the legal profession to write or produce TV shows, making the case that their training uniquely prepares them for show biz.

The good news: Fewer lawyers. (My father and sister are lawyers and my brother is in law school, so I can say that.)

The bad news: Ex-lawyers are creating shows like "Ally McBeal".

Amazon Surprises Wall St. With First Quarterly Profit

What? Amazon made a profit? There must be some kind of mistake.

It's not a very secure profit; they made $5 million ($.01 a share!) on revenues of $1.12 billion. Any dip in sales, and they're back in the red. But to make money during an economic slowdown and the collapse of so many web concerns... that's impressive.

Shooting at American Center in India Leaves 5 Dead, 20 Wounded (washingtonpost.com)

The Pakistani government and the major terrorist groups deny responsibility. But there's a good chance ISI is behind this, and Musharraf still hasn't gotten his intelligence agency under control.

This attack was more or less what we'd call a drive-by; guards outside the center were killed but nobody inside was in danger. I wonder if this isn't setting up something else.

U.S. Sends Muslim Chaplain to Detainees (washingtonpost.com)

The horror! Where's Amnesty International?

Can you imagine Christian chaplains for Christian soldiers held in a Muslim nation? Heck, we have to tiptoe around our "allies" the Saudis. "Morale officers", remember?

MTV Canada plays too many videos, says rival

Well, that's different.

Every time I start to take Canada seriously as a culture, I see something like this. MTV has been shut out of Canada in the past because the government is trying to protect the native music channels. Guys, it's called the free market. If MuchMusic is better than MTV, it will thrive. If it's not, it won't. You're not doing anybody any favors by not allowing competition. Well, anybody but the people who own MuchMusic. That's what protectionism is all about -- enriching the few by impoverishing the many. Not that they're missing much, judging by American MTV.

60% videos, hm. Any chance I can get get MTV Canada in Alabama?

'High Tide' of Labor Unrest in China (washingtonpost.com)

Obviously, these strikers are all Islamic extremists and personal friends of Osama bin Laden. Nobody could be unhappy in the People's Republic of China!

Birmingham Post-Herald
King Day inspires many to volunteer

If anybody doubts we've come a long way... Up the road in my hometown of Birmingham, once "the most thoroughly segregated city in America" according to Dr. King himself, citizens -- black and white -- work together to help the poor.

We've got a long way to go, but we're getting there. (Second item)

China Says Muslim Separatist Group Has Connections to bin Laden

"The report didn't offer any evidence to support its claims."

But hey, if you can't believe the Godless Communist Oppressive Totalitarian Chinese, who can't you believe? They're lying; there is no real organized terrorist movement in East Turkestan. They just want an excuse to go after Muslims the way they've gone after Falun Gong and Christians, only this time with international praise rather than condemnation.

U.S. Sets Pledge on Afghan Renewal (washingtonpost.com)

It's actually a little light, $297 million; that's a lot of money, of course, but the Euros are contributing $500 million and the Saudis $220 million. The way to think about it is to see our removal of the medieval-style former rulers as a form of aid, which in the end it will be. Afghanistan needs a lot of help; I don't doubt that in the beginning it will get it. But this effort will take years, and I hope that we don't forget about them after a couple.

A Strategy's Cautious Evolution (washingtonpost.com)

The Bush administration now had in its hands what one participant called "the holy grail" of a three-year quest by the U.S. government – a tool that could kill bin Laden within minutes of finding him. The CIA planned and practiced the operation. But for the next three months, before the catastrophe of Sept. 11, President Bush and his advisers held back,

Somehow, this is Clinton's fault!

As the story points out, there was no change in US policy on terrorism a year ago. If the Clinton administration was so awful on combatting terror, why did the Bush administration continue its policies? The simple answer is that there was and is no real difference between Democrats and Republicans on this issue, or on most foreign policy issues. And that 9-11 would have happened if Bob Dole or Al Gore or Lamar Alexander or George Bush or George Bush were President from 1993-2000. It's ridiculous to blame President Clinton for following such a broad consensus. The consensus may have been mistaken, but let's just move on.

Andersen Says Enron Failed on Business Merits

Yes, this is true. What he forgets to mention is that the only reason it succeeded for a time was that Andersen didn't tell investors what was really going on. If Andersen was doing its job, Enron would never have come within a fraction of the market value it attained.